DR. NYET - Ted Mark

 

Steve Victor is the man from O.R.G.Y. (Organization for the Rational Guidance of You) which is really nothing more than a corporate shell for the entire well-being (the provision of food, shelter, clothing, nd a few luxuries) of its sole member - Steve Victor. Steve has used the cover of his O.R.G.Y. to further his own Kinsey-style sex surveys all over the world.

Victor and his O.R.G.Y. investigations have caught the attention of some of the world's biggest criminal and criminal-apprehension agencies, and here Steve is approached by Scotland Yard and asked to infiltrate S.M.U.T. (the Society for Moral Uplift Today ["Ours is an age of initials" Steve remarks at one point]). Their goal is to stamp out anything and everything that leads to illicit sex.  This includes sculptures and paintings of nudes, any written work with a double (sexual) meaning to a fine degree (for instance, the famous Shakespeare quote would be changed to "If you nick me do I not bleed").

 

The organization has developed what they refer to as an anti-birth-control pill.  This was developed by a Russian known by the nickname "Dr. Nyet" because of her constant answer of "Nyet" to all things sex. It is believed that S.M.U.T. plans to release this pill globally. But the substance which neutralizes birth-control pills has a side effect of increasing the libido. Getting the formula for the substance is vital. The problem is that no one really knows what Dr. Nyet looks like (though they seem to be able to narrow it down through the course of the book).

 

Who better to infiltrate a group to wiping out sex-for-pleasure and sexual innuendo than the man who's dedicated his life to having more sex?

 

Along the way, Victor is also tasked with finding and returning an artifact, stolen from a temple in Nepal.  That artifact - a large phallus covered with jewels.

 

This is the fourth book in The Man from O.R.G.Y. series (try not to be confused if you pick up a copy that labels this as book #7 - Lancer Books wasn't specifying the O.R.G.Y. series, but all of the Ted Mark spy books) and this book ... THIS book ... is finally what I thought I'd be reading all along in the series.

 

This is so clearly a parody of the very popular James Bond books and films of the era.  (But seriously, how much of a parody is it given how ridiculous some Bond stories are and how much Bond seems to prefer women/sex to danger [and who wouldn't?].) The book doesn't take itself too seriously and I think pushes the bounds of believability in a fun way.  But it's also got a plot - a goal for Steve Victor to keep him hoping from woman to woman. I know - it's not a strong plot, but it's enough to keep in the parody category. But this idea of Victor being a spy trying to take down a world-wide criminal organization, and using his skills in the bedroom (or the kitchen or the park or...) to get what he wants, is precisely what I was looking for.

 

One of the things I find so amusing (and frighteningly sad at the same time) is how relevant the story is.  We've got world leaders publicly denouncing the deviant and aberrant behavior of sex-fiends, while privately enjoying this behavior (S.M.U.T. has assigned some of their female members to work in a brothel and of course they need to have some of them men checking on them from time to time):

 

"It's a long-term project of S.M.U.T.'s to destroy this ring at its very roots. ... Therefore S.M.U.T. itself as seen fit to take a hand to insure that there will be testimony available which will at least result in the convictions of those who run this particular brothel."

Does this kind of behavior not sound like a headline or Twitter post from today's news?

 

The book has some topical references (for the time), such as The Beatles, and author Ted Mark makes some pretty smart scientific advances

 

"(she) clapped her hands and immediately there was light. "They call it Sonuswitch," she explained. "It reacts to certain sounds and turns on lights and sets all sorts of electrical appliances in motion." ... Sonuswitch has enabled us to regulate almost all of the tasks of daily living."

 

... What... Ted Mark couldn't predict they'd call it "Alexa"?

 

One of the signs of this being a parody are some of the names of the players (although, once again, how do you parody something like the James Bond brand, which itself seems to play pretty fast, loose, and humorously with character names).  We have Mrs. Highman, one of the leaders of S.M.U.T., Horace Crampdick ("So help me! And he looked like his name."), and Jock O'Steele ("He was a mountain of a man, body bulging with muscles and above it a stern red face shiny with determination to stamp out sin.").

 

Somehow, amongst the sex, hijinks, and more sex, Mark manages to give the reader some geography lessons, and addresses (solves?) world hunger.

 

In case you can't tell, I really had fun here. You can expect a lot of lines like: "Singh and I said goodbye at the airport. He was going back to Nepal with his jeweled phallus. The eunuch returns with golden gonads...."

 

It might be more embarrassing to be seen holding a book with the word "ORGY" on the cover than one with the name "James Bond" but I really think you'll have more fun with this one.